MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON OUR SOULS
This gem of a story was on the wires this morning. We knew this day was coming. How did I think of the headline, you wonder? No one is that good of a writer. No one except fucking Goldman Sachs, that is. Because it's their headline. Nope, scratch that. It's actually their new corporate motto, splashed all over the front of their godforsaken brand spankin' new consumer website, set in place to siphon all of earth's dollars until the end of time.
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GOLDMAN SACHS OPENS FOR THE MASSES
By Ben McLannahan
FINANCIAL TIMES -- For almost 150 years Goldman Sachs has been the go-to bank of the rich and powerful. But now the Wall Street titan is opening up to the masses on Main Street by offering online savings accounts for as little as $1 on deposit.
The bank last week launched GSBank.com, a platform it inherited via the acquisition of a $16bn book of deposits from GE Capital.
Through that deal it gained about 145,000 retail depositors and is now seeking more, offering annual interest rates of 1.05 per cent on a savings account – many times better than the rates of the biggest US brick-and-mortar lenders such as Citibank, JPMorgan Chase or Bank of America. In addition to the savings account, GS Bank is offering a range of certificates of deposit, from six months to six years. The six-month CD pays an annual percentage yield of 0.7 per cent, more than five times the national average.
Devan Goldstein, banking expert at NerdWallet predicted the Goldman brand was probably enough to pique interest. “It’s synonymous with the dream of wealth in America,” he said. GS Bank had been aggressively gathering deposits independently of the GE deal. As of last December it had total deposits of $98bn, up from $83bn the previous year.
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Photos by William Banzai7